Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Getting There

I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.. This last week I knew I had to do something to finally get me over the hump of staying at 150, so I did my four times of running this week (still only 2 miles each time) and I drank more water this week to see if that would help.. My eating was still the same, and we only had one night out to eat this week.. Mexican for my son's graduation from preschool. We did go to a pool party/cookout this week too, but I watched my portions really closely... I can tell this summer is going to be hard with losing weight.. My goal is to at least lose something each week if only .2 Pd's, so I keep up the desire to be weight happy.. which I have to admit I'm starting to feel it.. I feel better about how my clothes look on me and I feel good about being in a bathing suit in front of people.. At the pool party I witnessed my former self through another mom.. I asked her why she wasn't in her bathing suit and she said, "I will let the skinny moms do the swimming." Now I have to say this mom herself is not overweight, but I remember feeling the way she does about myself.. It is so funny how as women we always see ourselves much bigger then others see us... I'm not sure if I ever let my weight stop me from doing anything, but I can say I remember not always being comfortable in every situation when I was bigger... My mom asked me last week to say the first thing I thought of when she asked me, "What was my first reason for wanting to lose weight," and I said (which surprised me) "I don't want to be the fat mom." so after I thought about it, I told her that growing up with a skinny mom (she has always been 110 Pd's) always made me feel good about having friends over to swim or go to the beach with her.. I felt she was healthy, happy and so much fun.. I want my kids to feel that way with me.. I know I would have probably felt this way about my mother even if she was a bigger women, but I only know about having the pretty, skinny mom that everyone liked growing up.. My mom did say to me that there was never a option to her not being skinny and that her being happy was a combo of being weight happy, my father and having good kids.. I knew as I got older that my mom had a fear of being overweight, but she never once let on this feeling when I was growing up.. Now I have to say I never had weight issues until after HS.. we are a big family of sports players, so being in shape was something we always were in my house growing up.. Then I got skinny again while on the police force then I had kids and my weight down spiraled again and that is where I am today.. I could so write a book (tee heee).. Positive thought is to just try to stay on track this summer and not lose site of the goal to have a lifetime of being weight happy.. Lets all be weight happy together...

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